Cave-dwelling terrorists still slightly brighter than Intelligence agencies, FBI
AFGHANISTAN – The myriad of uneducated Taliban insurgents hiding in the mountains in Afghanistan are proving incredibly illusive to the many Ivy League graduates working for the top intelligence agencies, it was revealed today.
The Taliban fighters have been hiding within an eight mile radius of the unscrupulous mountainous region near Kabul for several years, without being close to being captured, even whilst being bombarded with top American intelligence.
“We just don’t get it,” said Bernard Christiansen, of the FBI “These [American Ivy League] kids have been educated at the top Colleges in America at over 100,000 dollars a head, but they are being out thought by a bunch of terrorists with home schooling.”
Harvard graduates can generally rely on their folks to get the top jobs
Despite their inability to do even the simplest of mathematical calculations, the insurgents have managed to avoid capture, go out into local communities to buy groceries and even shoot the occasional aid worker.
In light of the failures, FBI officials have insisted that top Ivy League schools and colleges review and increase the competency standard for graduates. “Maybe it’s not enough that these kids have nice teeth and family members in the intelligence sector,” confirmed Bernard Christiansen. “If the schools keep producing this tripe, America might need to envisage home-grown kids getting educated abroad, in caves, probably in the Middle East.”
