Adopted kids happier; have the benefit of not knowing what they are going to die of
BIRMINGHAM –Shocking new evidence has come to light on adoption this week, as adoption agency Barnardo’s has thrown a spanner into previous childhood psychiatric studies by claiming that adopted children have a better chance at a happier, more rewarding life.
The shock revelations were aired on BBC3 show ‘Taking Care’, which took a revolutionary look into a group of teenagers, some of whom were adopted, and some who wish they had of been. In the study, the children who wanted to be adopted had physical and emotional hang-ups that their adopted counterparts did not. These included being less preoccupied with fear of premature baldness, becoming their mother, or dying of skin cancer at the age of 61, like everyone else in the family.
“The great thing about not knowing my parents means I don’t look at my [adopted] uncle’s shrivelled up genitals and wonder if my future son will have the same fate.” Said adopted 14 year old, Alison. Likewise, parentless 15 year old Jamie was pleased that “[his] children wouldn’t end up in prison, [like his adopted father] for attempting to touch the cute toddler next door.”
Barnardo’s managing director, Susan Wannamaker, has insisted that the findings were lengthy and legitimate, and that only children who past gruelling psychometric and emotional tests would be used in the study, and certainly not children “with an axe to grind,” like victims of domestic abuse or with a sensitive disposition. “The only possible anxiety I can foresee [with some of the adopted children] is whether they decide to discover who their [real] parents are. Imagine the shock of discovering you are the product of a rotten failing uterus, or your father is a ‘wank-in-a-cup for a measly tenner’ kind of guy.”
