Japanese robotic teacher needs to be profanity, kick and piss proof, says British education minister
BRISTOL – Scientists at Bristol University have been busy adapting the latest technological advancement from Japan, in a bid to make it a success in schools across Britain.
The robotic humanoid, named Saya, was created by Hiroshi Kobayashi at the University of Tokyo in a bid to provide children in Japan with a teacher that wasn’t privy to the vigour’s of long hours and the constant stresses of school boards and unattainable exam results. Although an instant hit in the tranquil and progressive classrooms in Tokyo, Saya will need to undergo several alterations before she is ready to undertake her primary role in a British classroom.
Scientists discovered early on that without artificial skin children would have difficulty accepting Saya as human
Saya was originally piloted in an inner city classroom with nine year olds, but after only 30 minutes it became clear that she would need some extensive re-enforcement. “After scientists had recovered the scattered remains of her limbs and removed the urine from her eyes she was taken back to the laboratory to undergo a military style make-over.” Health minister Ed Balls confirmed, “And we insisted she be made less attractive, as some of the [children] took quite an interest in whether she was sporting a real camel-toe.”
Scientists have made Saya's mouth smaller in a bid to make it cock proof
After undergoing several weeks of crash testing, scientists believe they have made Saya British-child proof. “Although she isn’t fully bullet proof, she is knife, piss and fuck proof now,” said relieved Head teacher Ed Buckley, “We think she could prove a success, at least until the kids work out her weaknesses.”
Saya is also multilingual and speaks five languages, including French and German, yet scientists have been instructed to install another 27 languages into her artificial intelligence in order to accommodate all the children in any given inner city classroom environment.
Comments
By snozzer on May 22nd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
yet scientists have been instructed to install another 27 languages into her artificial intelligence in order to accomodate all the in any given inner city classroom environment …………….. ha ha ha ha …..pure, unadulterated genius !!!!!!!!!!!!!!