Bookmakers can now fuck hookers as Obama occupies Whitehouse
Bookmakers are beginning to show an up-turn in profits this week, quashing the rumours that they are suffering under the ongoing credit-crunch.
Analysts are attributing their recent growth to the flurry of post US election wagers that have been flooding into betting shops since Barack Obama swept to victory in the US Presidential Election last month.
The American right is pleased that Obama is at least half white
The making of substantial profits from post-election betting isn’t new, as Anthony Burden Smith, the CEO of Burden Bookmakers explained; “We made a ton of money in 2000. No one believed the American people would allow an unelected simpleton to remain in office on the basis of a rigged committee. The bets came flying in that [the moronic cocksucker] would be history within a year. As it happened it didn’t and we got paid off. We were able to spank the rest of the bank on a plethora of Baltic hookers.”
With Barack Obama now destined for the Whitehouse in January bookmakers have made all kinds of bets available. After betting on whether another overpaid sports star will salute God after a touchdown, eager punters can comfortably bet on how long it will take the Republicans to demand a recount, on whether the Southern States will start another civil war, and most importantly - whether Barack Obama really is as black as he says he is.
“The only bet off the table is whether the government will try to assassinate its president again,” quipped Landbrokes VP Rick Steinburg. “Any good odds on that and we’ll be sending back our mail-order brides before you can say Nigerian Immigrant.”
