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Zebra crossing zebra crossing killed

REGENTS PARK (NEAR LONDON ZOO), LONDON, ENGLAND- Public outcry has surfaced after an escaped zebra from London Zoo was struck and killed  by a Fiat Chiquechento on a nearby zebra crossing.

The female driver of the vehicle claimed that she never saw the sprawled Zebra appear from the two-toned zebra crossing surface on Park Road, part of the A41. The shaken female driver refused to give her name or to take blame for the incident insisting to police that ‘[once again] public safety has been jeopardised [by the Government, and no i wasn't applying my lip liner].’

The lady driver later explained to lawyers that it is irresponsible for the government to continue to use Zebra crossings, especially with the amount of black-and-white children in the Cosmopolitan hub of London. Although most were bemused by the woman driver’s complaint initially, there is now a surfacing racial outcry and protest levied against the government by women drivers and black-and-white people everywhere.

The Transport Secretary, Andrew Adonis and his representatives cancelled any dinner reservations with mistresses in order to burn the midnight oil trying to figure out a solution to an obviously delicate subject. Original plans for a Giraffe crossings were dismissed as London Zoo houses two East African Giraffe; Zulu and Apache, and any likely escape would likely yeild similar results.

After an initial bill was tentatively put through parliament matters were made more complicated when a Newcastle United supporter donning the legendary black-and-white stripes was hit and paralysed on a similar crossing in South London. After careful consideration Adonis and his team agreed to multiply the North East’s Zebra Crossing’s quota by 500%.

The general morale in London Zoo is at an all time low as Pelicans also fear for their safety if released.

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