God plans to create new flawless human, not like current idiots
SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN - Deep in the bowels of His own research laboratory, God Almighty has been scheming for several decades in preparation for the release of a new human, one that is not partial to self-made destruction, cruelty and its own self worth.
Tentatively named Adam Jr, this new type of human will still have the obligatory organs, flesh and bone of the conventional homosapien, but will not have the strong tendencies to consume natural resources at a rate completely unsustainable and detrimental for the Earth - and all its current inhabitants.
“With an estimated ten species of animal going extinct every week, I thought it was time to get back in the lab[oratory],” said God after removing his goggles and turning off a bunsen burner. “Who would have thought that we would be where we are now 6000 years ago when Adam and Eve were joyfully frolicking around in the Garden [of Eden].”
Adam and Eve Jr. will happily seperate plastic and glass bottles for recycling
After His initial statement, God released a list of the first humans to be replaced: the initial people to go would be groups of men who wear pointy shoes and white shirts whilst going out on a Saturday night; then freshers who feel inclined to walk up and down Whiteladies road at 5am on a Tuesday morning screaming at the top of their lungs; and finally priests and genocidal dictators.
Bringing up the rear of the list will be those people too lazy to separate their cardboard from their plastic bottles. “Why bother supplying humanity with recycling bins and bottle banks when they possess the personalities to not fucking use them,” God said, shaking His head, “Aren’t I glad I created irony.”
Comments
By dave on October 13th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Haha “Then freshers who feel inclined to walk up and down Whiteladies road at 5am on a Tuesday morning screaming at the top of their lungs” very personal