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Weightlifting champion ashamed to lose battle with micro-organism, cold virus.

Weightlifting champion ashamed to lose battle with micro-organism, cold virus.

By Ross Densley • on March 24, 2009

GOLD’S GYM, CALIFORNIA -  Bewildered weightlifting superstar Jay Cutler is refusing to show his face at his local gym after a failure to beat off an

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Japanese robotic teacher needs to be profanity, kick and piss proof, says British education minister

Japanese robotic teacher needs to be profanity, kick and piss proof, says British education minister

By Ross Densley • on March 23, 2009

BRISTOL – Scientists at Bristol University have been busy adapting the latest technological advancement from Japan, in a bid to make it a success in

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New weight-loss reality show becomes cannibalism horror

New weight-loss reality show becomes cannibalism horror

By Ross Densley • on March 14, 2009

LONDON - Reality TV show experts Channel 4 have been criticised by human rights groups after they produced a pilot for a new weight-loss reality TV show,

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Adopted kids happier; have the benefit of not knowing what they are going to die of

Adopted kids happier; have the benefit of not knowing what they are going to die of

By Ross Densley • on March 12, 2009

BIRMINGHAM –Shocking new evidence has come to light on adoption this week, as adoption agency Barnardo’s has thrown a spanner into previous childhood

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Opinion: Barack Obama, inauguration

Opinion: Barack Obama, inauguration

By Ross Densley • on February 5, 2009

DEADEND - In light of Barack Obama’s inauguration as the first African-American President of the United States, the Deadender investigates six important

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Leader of the Autobots Optimus Prime gets towed, misses time on set

Leader of the Autobots Optimus Prime gets towed, misses time on set

By Ross Densley • on January 10, 2009

LOS ANGELES – Filming for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was prematurely halted as iconic Autobot leader Optimus Prime was clamped, towed and left

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China runs out of animals to eat, use as pointless medicine

China runs out of animals to eat, use as pointless medicine

By Ross Densley • on January 9, 2009

SHANGHAI – In a statement released by Chinese government officials and national army representatives, China revealed to be teetering on the verge of

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Cave-dwelling terrorists still slightly brighter than Intelligence agencies, FBI

AFGHANISTAN – The myriad of uneducated Taliban insurgents hiding in the mountains in Afghanistan are proving incredibly illusive to the many Ivy League graduates working for the top intelligence agencies,

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Pope Benedict blames homosexuality for poor golf round, frigid weather conditions.

SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS, MUIR OF ORD - The Pope has defamed homosexuals again and blamed the recent onset of frigid temperatures as evidence of God’s disproval for homosexuality, and it having nothing to

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Lemmings discovered that want to live, spread DNA

ARTIC CIRCLE – Whilst filming a new nature series on Lemmings and other Arvicolinae behaviour, BBC producers and filmmakers discovered that a large majority of the lemming population had a distinct desire

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Plane grounded as autopilot three times over the legal alcohol limit

HEATHROW – United Airlines flight 352, which was scheduled to fly from London to New York was refused take-off after reports that the autopilot was three times over the legal alcohol limit. The Autopilot,

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Sarah Palin denies World is 10,000 years old. “It’s actually only 6,000”

WASHINGTON – Alaskan vice-president candidate and pretty attractive hockey ‘mom’ Governor Sarah Palin has refuted claims that she believes the world is 10,000 years old, claiming she’s knows for

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Guy Ritchie set to take 152 million, all the kids and half Madonna’s music career, say lawyers

LONDON – The divorce settlement saga between filmmaker Guy Ritchie and singer Madonna Ciccone hit a brick wall this week after Mr Ritchie is said to have asked for around 152 million dollars, five year

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2010 World Cup final to be played in Krugar National Park

JOHANNESBURG – Amid continual falls in the financial market, fears for player’s safety have escalated as South African officials have halted the erection of all tournament stadia for the 2010 World

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Man completes game after 23 years

DEADEND - A man has gone into the record books this week after taking 23 years to complete a computer game. Leslie Olson of Deadend, Bristol told of his torment and subsequent joy at completing the game,

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