Prince Harry; “It’s hard not to be racist when I’m an upper class soldier trained to kill brown people”
LONDON – Army officials have confirmed they are sending Prince Harry on a quality and diversity course to prevent more racial slurs after his latest outburst in an attempt to minimise damage to his and the royal family’s reputation. Aside from dressing as a Nazi and groping girls’ tits in bars, Prince Harry, 24, was recorded using the term
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Brook gives boyfriend Cipriani cold shoulder after seeing him in HD
Busty model and actress Kelly Brook has been reported to be giving new boyfriend - Wasps and England fly-half Danny Cipriani - the cold shoulder after seeing his facial features enhanced in crystal clear quality live on a Sony plasma 56 inch flat screen in super high-def. Cipriani
Despite late surge in celebrity death, Michael Jackson still No.1 for 2009
CALIFORNIA - A poll in popular men’s magazine Maxim revealed readers voted unequivocally that king of pop, Michael Jackson, still held the reins as biggest celebrity death in 2009, despite a strong late showing from other Hollywood heavyweights like Patrick Swayze and David Carradine. During the
Bear Grylls taken ill at hospital after eating ordinary food
LONDON – After returning to England after completing another series of Bear Grylls; born survivor for channel 4, Bear Grylls was rushed to A&E after eating ordinary food. The presenter and ex-SAS marine is said to be conscious and in a stable condition at St Mary’s Hospital after a small seizure
Patrick Swayze, a life’s work: Ghost and not much else
CALIFORNIA - Hollywood star and one time heart throb Patrick Swayze died peacefully in his home yesterday, after an 18 month battle with pancreatic cancer, sparking journalists across the media to stop and consider Swayze’s body of work, and wonder how anyone actually knew who he was. Swayze
Photo-fits
Not too long ago Photo-fits of Madeline McCann had been released and whilst I don’t wish to dwell too long on the McCann case (an intention similar to the Portuguese police department) - not owing to levels of taste or decency (as the deadender.com™ seems to have no such restrictions), but as
God plans to create new flawless human, not like current idiots
SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN - Deep in the bowels of His own research laboratory, God Almighty has been scheming for several decades in preparation for the release of a new human, one that is not partial to self-made destruction, cruelty and its own self worth. Tentatively named Adam Jr, this new type of human
Weightlifting champion ashamed to lose battle with micro-organism, cold virus.
GOLD’S GYM, CALIFORNIA - Bewildered weightlifting superstar Jay Cutler is refusing to show his face at his local gym after a failure to beat off an endemic cold virus that has been going around for the last week or so. 2006 Mr Olympian Cutler- who is impressively able to squat 1000 pounds - was first
Questions asked as bodybuilder’s arm explodes at high altitude
JOHANNESBURG - Bodybuilding has taken another knock this week after 2008 Mr Olympian Jay Cutler’s left bi-cep hemorrhaged water and blood over the front row during a competition, leading some experts to speculate that the high altitude may be to blame, not the $100,000 worth of steroids Cutler
Leader of the Autobots Optimus Prime gets towed, misses time on set
LOS ANGELES – Filming for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was prematurely halted as iconic Autobot leader Optimus Prime was clamped, towed and left in the car pound for two days. To the dismay of director Michael Bay, Prime was due to shoot the pivotal love scene with co-star Shia LeBeouf on location
Guy Ritchie set to take 152 million, all the kids and half Madonna’s music career, say lawyers
LONDON – The divorce settlement saga between filmmaker Guy Ritchie and singer Madonna Ciccone hit a brick wall this week after Mr Ritchie is said to have asked for around 152 million dollars, five year old Rocco and half of Madonna’s music career. In a statement taken at his home in Chelsea, London,