God admits He is an atheist

God admits He is an atheist

By Ross Peterson • on February 11, 2010

BRISTOL - Despite the rapturous divides between religious beliefs, the true understanding of a divine deity and the unremitting arguments regarding abiogenesis, the omniscient creator of the universe ended all speculation this week as he pronounced himself an atheist. In a frank statement at the ‘No God, No Life; Know God, Know Life’ stall for Bristol

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Man believed to be Jesus Christ actually a bearded parachutist

Man believed to be Jesus Christ actually a bearded parachutist

By Ross Peterson • on December 6, 2009

TEXAS - A bearded man who was parachuting from a plane caused alarming commotion in Houston this week as he crash-landed into a bramble bush in St John’s Methodist Church graveyard, causing the entire congregation to drop to their knees and praise the Lord for Judgement Day. The confusion arose

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God plans to create new flawless human, not like current idiots

God plans to create new flawless human, not like current idiots

By Ross Peterson • on October 13, 2009

SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN - Deep in the bowels of His own research laboratory, God Almighty has been scheming for several decades in preparation for the release of a new human, one that is not partial to self-made destruction,  cruelty and its own self worth. Tentatively named Adam Jr, this new type of human

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Jesus Christ joins cast of X-Men 5

Jesus Christ joins cast of X-Men 5

By Aaron Hancock • on September 8, 2009

LOS ANGELES - After months of negotiations between Twentieth Century Fox and Jesus Christ’s agent Brett Samsung, Jesus Christ will finally make his long awaited entrance into mainstream Hollywood in the X-Men superhero movie franchise. Twentieth Century Fox producers were eager to open negotiations

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Committed man’s imaginary friend turns out to be Jesus Christ, man released

Committed man’s imaginary friend turns out to be Jesus Christ, man released

By Ross Peterson • on September 4, 2009

BRISTOL - A man stood shouting into the sky and then talking to himself outside Bristol Cathedral was committed to psychiatric care yesterday, only to be released today after specialists ascertained the man was simply having a conversation with Jesus, not a supposed imaginary friend. The thirty-five

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Catholic footballer calls religion into question after missing open goal

Catholic footballer calls religion into question after missing open goal

By Ross Peterson • on April 29, 2009

BARCELONA - 18 year-old sensation Bojan Krkic has questioned his Catholic faith after failing to score the winning goal in the Champions League Semi-Final against Chelsea at the Nou Camp last night. With only three minutes left to play in injury time and the score precariously balanced at 0-0, Bojan

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