Tree killed in fatal bus crash
GLOUCESTERSHIRE – A tree has been fatally injured as a bus carrying 40 passengers, including 29 Royal Marines bound for their holidays in Afghanistan, slid on ice and tumbled down a steep bank, causing mortal damage to its trunk and root systems. The tree, a 24 metre, 18 year-old Hornbeam was not killed instantly, but suffered insurmountable internal
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God plans to create new flawless human, not like current idiots
SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN - Deep in the bowels of His own research laboratory, God Almighty has been scheming for several decades in preparation for the release of a new human, one that is not partial to self-made destruction, cruelty and its own self worth. Tentatively named Adam Jr, this new type of human
Bear Grylls taken ill at hospital after eating ordinary food
LONDON – After returning to England after completing another series of Bear Grylls; born survivor for channel 4, Bear Grylls was rushed to A&E after eating ordinary food. The presenter and ex-SAS marine is said to be conscious and in a stable condition at St Mary’s Hospital after a small seizure
China runs out of animals to eat, use as pointless medicine
SHANGHAI – In a statement released by Chinese government officials and national army representatives, China revealed to be teetering on the verge of political meltdown as it has run out of animals to eat. In a frank dialogue with audiences at the new Government HQ, Xian Pun Chi told the worlds media
Lemmings discovered that want to live, spread DNA
ARTIC CIRCLE – Whilst filming a new nature series on Lemmings and other Arvicolinae behaviour, BBC producers and filmmakers discovered that a large majority of the lemming population had a distinct desire to survive, even whilst being beaten over the head with a boom stand. The rodents where being