God plans to create new flawless human, not like current idiots
SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN - Deep in the bowels of His own research laboratory, God Almighty has been scheming for several decades in preparation for the release of a new human, one that is not partial to self-made destruction, cruelty and its own self worth. Tentatively named Adam Jr, this new type of human will still have the obligatory organs, flesh
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New weight-loss reality show becomes cannibalism horror
LONDON - Reality TV show experts Channel 4 have been criticised by human rights groups after they produced a pilot for a new weight-loss reality TV show, that forced upset and starving contestants to fend for themselves in a traditional survival situation. The idea of the show was to force food deprived
Japanese robotic teacher needs to be profanity, kick and piss proof, says British education minister
BRISTOL – Scientists at Bristol University have been busy adapting the latest technological advancement from Japan, in a bid to make it a success in schools across Britain. The robotic humanoid, named Saya, was created by Hiroshi Kobayashi at the University of Tokyo in a bid to provide children in
Lemmings discovered that want to live, spread DNA
ARTIC CIRCLE – Whilst filming a new nature series on Lemmings and other Arvicolinae behaviour, BBC producers and filmmakers discovered that a large majority of the lemming population had a distinct desire to survive, even whilst being beaten over the head with a boom stand. The rodents where being
Plane grounded as autopilot three times over the legal alcohol limit
HEATHROW – United Airlines flight 352, which was scheduled to fly from London to New York was refused take-off after reports that the autopilot was three times over the legal alcohol limit. The Autopilot, known only as ‘The Autopilot’, was first suspected of being drunk as the Boeing 747